At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages? IELTS Writing Topic

Bhargavee Sisodia

31 Jul 2024

Criteria of scoring in the Writing Task 2

Like the other sections of the test, the essay portion of the IELTS writing test is scored on a few components.  We have included the primary evaluation criteria for the IELTS writing essay section for your convenience. This will assist you in determining which parts of your work require additional focus and refinement in order to improve your IELTS writing band score. Each of the four criteria that are used to assess the essay portion of the writing test accounts for a total of 25% of the IELTS writing band score. The following are the contributing factors:  

• Task Achievement: The goal of this part is to effectively address the question. You need to be able to clearly state the situation and provide a response that stays on topic. You must follow all instructions for structuring the response in a manner that complements the essay's style and write a minimum of 250 words.
• Coherence and Cohesion: This criteria will be used to assess your topic articulation skills. Your band will be based on how well you link the paragraphs, utilize appropriate language, refrain from repeating yourself, and write in an intelligible style. 
• Lexical Resource: If you have a large and well-versed vocabulary, you'll perform better in this section. You will also fare better in this assessment area if you use straightforward language and don't make spelling or word-building mistakes.
• Grammatical Accuracy and Range: To satisfy this requirement, you must use a variety of appropriate tenses and grammatical structures. You also need to use appropriate punctuation and sentence structure. 

Tips to score a higher IELTS writing band score

• Make your introduction and conclusion impactful with the question rephrased and your opinion(if asked) clearly stated.
• Read the topic a few times until you grasp what is asked. Remember that you only have 40 minutes so it is better to understand it well before writing rather than writing it wrong and wasting time.
• Use linking words like "for instance," "consequently," and "nevertheless" and this will help you score better in the coherence cohesion section.

IELTS writing task 2 topics: 

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

This essay follows the "advantages/disadvantages" style. On this specific topic, though, you have been asked to share your opinion on whether you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or vice versa. Before we examine the responses related to the various bands, let's review the essay's format.

• Introduction: Start by summarizing the question in your introduction.
• Body 1: You will restate the question and indicate in the first sentence whether you are talking about benefits or drawbacks. Enumerate the benefits or drawbacks in the sentences that follow.
• Body 2: List the drawbacks here if you mentioned the merits in the previous paragraph, and vice versa. 
• Body 3: You can use this optionally to divide the preceding paragraphs into manageable parts.
• Conclusion: In conclusion, restate the question.  

IELTS writing task 2 topics with answers:

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Band 6

In comparison to the number of older people, several countries currently have a comparatively higher proportion of young adults in their populations and this has certain advantages and disadvantages, however, I feel that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

The advantage of having a higher number of young adults than older people in some nations are directly related to the workforce of that country. This can causes a boom in the country's GDP. For example, in sectors like construction, information technology, mechanics, and others, a revolution of Artificial Intelligence is penetrating, and young adults are adaptive to this, and thus, keeping up with the global requirements is easier for them. This causes a direct impact on the nation's economy and thus, having a larger population of young adults can be a boon.

There are disadvantages as well of have more young adults compared to older people in a country. Experience is extremely valuable which are what the older generation can provide. For instance, in sectors like geopolitics and finance, the value of experience is much more than anything else, and thus, if the number of elderly and experienced people is less, tackling a national issue or a financial crisis can be difficult posing a threat to the system. This can be detremental in the long run.

Thus, many countries now have populations that are disproportionately made up of younger adults than older people. This has benefits and drawbacks owing to the difference in workforce and difference in experience. Still, I believe that this has more benefits than drawbacks. 

Clarification on the band: 

The evaluation's coherence and cohesion section applies to the lengthy, difficult sentences. The grammatical faults that fall under the evaluation's Grammatical Accuracy and Range. The spelling mistakes falling under Lexical Resources.

Band 7

Contrary to the relative proportion of elderly people, several countries today boasts of a relatively higher population density of young people. This demographic shift is, forgives of certain advantages and disadvantages. I believe that the pros outweigh the cons.

The general benefit concerning the larger population density of young adults as compare to the aged group is principally related to the labor force of a particular country. The improvement in this demographic position may significantly enhances the rate of the country’s economic growth, resulting in an enhanced GDP figure. For example, in construction-related industries, IT-related industries, and mechanical industries, artificial intelligence are on the rise. Young adults are more maleable to technological changes and hence can easily fit the global requisites. This versatility have a direct impact on the fortunes of the nation and is why a higher number of young adults is a benefit.

However, there are a few disadvantages to having a majority of young adults over old people. Experience, which the older generation has, are extremely valuable. For instance, expertise prevails in spheres such as geopolitics and finance and the significance of experience is higher than that of the remaining factors. Thus, a decreased number of elderly and experienced personnel present a problem when it comes to handling national threats or financial emergensies and can be a menace to the system. This could have been very disadvantageous if persisted in the later period.

At the present time, the majority of countries is be distinguished by the over-representation of the young adult population in comparison with the elderly. This demographic structure has its positive and negative aspects because of the stark difference it poses due to experience and progress in workforce management. Still, I believe that the positive impact outweighs the negative one.

Clarification on the band: 

The grammatical faults that fall under the evaluation's Grammatical Accuracy and Range. The spelling mistakes falling under Lexical Resources.

Band 9

Many countries today are characterized by a considerably higher share of young adults contrary to the elderly population. It has a symbiosis of opportunities and threats. However, I believe that the advantages are clear and prevail over the disadvantages.

The overall advantage derived from a larger population density of young people as contrasted with the elderly population is inherently an aspect that can be associated with the workforce capabilities of a country. This demographic bonus must therefore be able to significantly fasten the country’s economic growth path leading to an augment in the trajectory of its GDP. For instance, in the construction, IT, and mechanical engineering sectors, artificial intelligence has commenced to dominate the industry. Young adults can efficiently conform to global requisites because their development process makes them more adaptable to such changes. This adaptability has a direct, positive impact on the nation’s economic affairs, which in turn makes a proportionately larger cohort of young people a substantial boon.

On the other hand, there are some demerits of having a large contingent of youths over the old aged persons. The experience which is gathered by the older generation of people is simply beyond any price. For example, in such spheres as geopolitics and finance, the profundity of experience outweighs other factors. Thus, a decrease in the number of elders or experienced people, and quite possibly specialists in the field, may affect the ability to address a national crisis or a financial emergency, which poses a systemic risk. 

In conclusion, younger adults make up a greater proportion of the population in most nations than do the elderly. All these constitute a demographic structure that has benefits, as well as negative ramifications due to sector-specific workforce requirements of the young lot. However, I believe that the advantages are much more significant than the disadvantages.

Clarification on the band: 

No mistakes and high-level language used.

Conclusion

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